OPINION | LOVE, ACTUALIZED
ISABEL CHUN / STAFF ILLUSTRATOR

“When your assault narrative doesn’t fit into this box, you’re left not knowing a lot of things. What I do know is that seeing him around campus or in a photo online still makes me nauseous.”

The author is a Barnard College junior.

ISABEL CHUN / STAFF ILLUSTRATOR

“You can’t tell me that this 34-year-old man doesn’t understand basic body language. If I’m moving my hand away from your dick, I don’t want to touch it. That’s not rocket science.”

Michaela Lindsey is a first-year at Barnard College likely majoring in American studies. In her free time, she can be found running, dreaming about Ferris pasta, and trolling MRAs.

ISABEL CHUN / STAFF ILLUSTRATOR

“I think guys like having Harvey Weinstein around. We can look at what he’s done, and think, ‘Well, at least I didn’t do that.’ It’s validating; it’s comfortable. But comfort means stagnation. We shouldn’t be comfortable.”

Dan Driscoll is a sophomore in Columbia College studying philosophy and an associate editorial page editor for Spectator. This is a complex issue that he would not presume to know the answers to. As such, he has concentrated mostly on raising questions. Moreover, if you find any serious fault with this article, PLEASE email him at dvd2109@columbia.edu. He is learning too and could always benefit from outside perspectives.

ISABEL CHUN / STAFF ILLUSTRATOR

“Consent is black and white, but our lives are grey. Our sexual assault education doesn’t teach people to be courageous self-advocates unless they would never want to have sex with someone or they feel like they’re in danger.”

The author is a first-year at Barnard College looking to study sociology. They were granted anonymity due to the personal nature of this piece.

ISABEL CHUN / STAFF ILLUSTRATOR

“The fact of the matter is this: Any manifestation of ‘tries’ is one too many; only a sober yes is a yes—no more, no less. She was not in a position to consent and neither was that guy. Do not ‘try.’”

Floriana Milazzo is an associate editorial page editor for Spectator and a first-year at Barnard majoring in English with concentrations in education studies and philosophy. At any given time of the day, you can find her laughing at her own jokes, drinking bubble tea, and discussing big ideas.

ISABEL CHUN / STAFF ILLUSTRATOR

“When I got divorced and was ready to date again, I naïvely thought that going out and a flirty conversation would land me a date. I couldn’t have been more wrong. After seven years of marriage, the dating landscape had changed so much that I just wasn’t finding the same kinds of connections in public spaces. Reluctantly, I resorted to online dating, a platform stigmatized by my pre-Internet generation for how disconnected it seemed from reality.”

Andrea Enríquez is a seventh grade Spanish teacher and a psychology major at the School of General Studies. She likes talking about controversial topics, especially with regards to social interaction and dating. In her free time, she likes to dance salsa and meet new people.

ISABEL CHUN / STAFF ILLUSTRATOR

“It was a first impression that quickly turned into a conviction, and one that he maintains to this day. He cites “magical” interactions we’ve had with people on the street, but I insist that New Yorkers are simply friendlier than their reputation suggests. He points out the confidence with which I walk (read: sneak) into hotels to get onto their rooftops, but I object, saying that’s just a trick I learned from an old friend.”

Lila Etter is a Barnard College junior studying Spanish and art history.

ISABEL CHUN / STAFF ILLUSTRATOR

“My not-so-eloquent then-friend, after listing two things he liked about me and a series of stammers, scratched his head and said, ‘I like your skin tone.’ I was speechless.”

Andrea Lin is a sophomore in Columbia College studying English and film studies.

ISABEL CHUN / STAFF ILLUSTRATOR

“I want to be cared for, and I want to care for others; I want to be loved, and I want to love others. But this campus won’t let me. Recently, I have been struggling with how much activism interferes with my relationships: friendships, romance, sex, you name it.”

Clara Beccaro is a junior in Columbia College studying gender studies and human rights. Follow her on Twitter @RosayJacky for more content on falling in love and caring.

ISABEL CHUN / STAFF ILLUSTRATOR

“In pondering previous relationships, I realized that the tendency for on-campus relationships to either become toxically codependent or fall into radio silence is a pervasive phenomenon.”

Arielle Isack is a sophomore in GS majoring in American studies. She hopes that writing this piece makes people realize that she is much more of a Carrie than a Samantha. Email her at aai2123@columbia.edu. She also has a column called Not a Relationship Girl.