Columbia majors as drinks

Columbia students can be like cocktails: strong, sometimes bitter, and best consumed in moderation. Whether you’re drowning in readings or debugging code at 3 a.m., your major comes with a certain flavor. So, if your course of study was a drink, what would it be? Let’s make the perfect menu.

Green and slightly earthy, this drink seems only fitting for a major that requires reflecting on the environment. With a bit of caffeine for days when you need to ponder the latest sustainability politics, matcha is the perfect mix of earthy and slightly sweet—just like its students. Bonus points if it’s in a reusable cup.

For a major that often requires 36 hours straight spent on projects, endless debugging, and all-nighters in Mudd, so much so that some of these students forget to shower, the EXTRA dirty combination of gin or vodka, vermouth, and olive brine seems fitting. Nothing sweet about that.

A drink blend of frozen strawberries and sugar might seem fun and vibrant on the surface, but it packs a punch. Adding rum helps represent the hard academic work of dismantling oppressive power structures, questioning norms, challenging systems, and advocating for change. The intersectionality of the strawberries’ sweetness, the lime’s acidity, and the rum’s strength make for an interesting and powerful blend. Just like women’s and gender studies, a strawberry daiquiri is bold, transformative, and leaves a lasting impression. Cheers!

For a course of study that requires critical thinking on supply and demand, money, and markets, this luxury tequila may not seem like the most economically sound decision (see what I did there?). However, the logic behind this is that if you spend so much time thinking about money, chances are you’re well-versed enough to stack some of your own—and you may even be willing to spend it!

Education is all about nourishment, growth, and shaping minds, so what’s a better drink to represent it than a Nestlé chocolate milk? It’s warm, comforting, and essential for growth. Like an educator who makes learning engaging and meaningful, this drink is fun and delicious but sneaks in Vitamin D and other nutrients that help build strong foundations—both in bones and knowledge!

This cross between a blue Hawaiian and a mai tai includes rum, tropical juices, grenadine, and blue curaçao for a fruity mix. This beautiful tie-dye drink is perfect for a major that is deeply steeped in creativity, mixed-media techniques, and art presentation. Garnish with a palm leaf or cherry if you’re extra artsy.

This drink is smooth, rich, and comforting, like getting lost in a good novel or analyzing poetic symbolism. It’s warm and aesthetic like English majors, who you’ll often find in a cozy sweater annotating a book in the corner of a cute café. The espresso is critical for nights analyzing literary texts and extended metaphors. Shakespeare would be proud.

Light, sweet, and refreshing, these students won’t feel the need to psychoanalyze you like psychology majors often do, but they will still casually know about your brain’s inner workings. They may just be the chillest of the STEM majors, effortlessly balancing their knowledge in synaptic transmission and neuroplasticity while maintaining an undeniably cutesy vibe. However, I may be a little biased. This drink is pink, like the brain, with a little sweet and sour lemonade for when you need to get into the nitty gritty mechanics behind gated Na+, K+, and H+ channels. Scrap the drink and add six shots of espresso if you’re pre-med.

The Manhattan is a strong and sophisticated blend of whiskey, sweet vermouth, and bitters. Each ingredient requires a high level of precision; an elegant and timeless drink like this one isn’t just thrown together. Just as architecture majors are meticulous about blueprints and studio sessions, the Manhattan is aesthetic yet intentional. Besides, what better drink to represent an architecture major than one named after a city known for its tall skyscrapers?

Neat, no chaser. Not much else to be said here.

Biochemistry is all about chemical reactions, metabolism, and microscopic magic. What better drink to represent this course of study than kombucha? Fizzy, fermented, and packed with probiotics and antioxidants, kombucha is like a chemical reaction in your mouth. To make the drink, bacteria and yeast grow together to form a culture, and after many in-between steps, you end up with a liquid containing vinegar, vitamins, and amino acids. The carbon dioxide byproduct of this reaction is what makes the drink fizzy. Enzymes, amino acids, yeast, bacteria, glycolysis, mitochondria, more biology jargon—I’m basically back in Intro Bio.

Cabernet Sauvignon is rich, deeply complex, and maybe a little pretentious—just like philosophy majors! This drink is perfect for long nights of thinking about… thinking. Best paired with some aged cheese and existential dread in a dimly lit café. Perfect for discussing Kant and Voltaire and contemplating free will versus determinism. Cabernet Sauvignon is not just a wine; it’s an intellectual experience, much like philosophy.

For long nights learning about power, government, and maybe even international politics, coffee is the way to go. Political theory readings are no joke, and neither are debates on the fate of democracy. There’s no need for all the fluff and stuff of milk and sweeteners; these students need straight caffeine to boost their thinking about social policies. Black coffee is the best drink for them, and you may even smell it on their breath as they tell you why it’s imperative that you vote in elections.

Whether you’re a strawberry daiquiri or a dirty martini, all our majors come with their bitters and garnishes. Cherish what makes you unique, because just like a well-crafted drink, your major is a mix of passion, challenge, and a bit of personal flair. Whether you’re stirred by political theory or shaken by engineering problem sets, each path has its own distinct flavor. So, raise a glass (or a cup of coffee) to the late-night grinds and intellectual debates—because no matter what’s in your cup, you’re mixing up something great!