The Varsity Show, Columbia’s longest theatrical tradition, returned for its 129th year this weekend in the Roone Arledge Auditorium. This year’s show, called “Transfer of Power,” chronicled a new type of Columbia cheating scandal and succeeded in making the individual experience of a Columbia student feel universal, elevating the most minute moments of college life into elaborate song and dance. The entirely student-written production featured songs by Malcolm Toleno, CC ’23, with lyrics written by Ava Roberts, CC ’25, and a book by Katy Haden, CC ’23, and Julian Gerber, CC ’24. Rip-roaringly funny and packed with fast-moving humor, The Varsity Show continues to be a source of delight for the entire Columbia community.

The title this year, “Transfer of Power,” may be a little misleading – while we get the one, very short scene of the soon to exit Bollinger and Beilock lounging at the beach, the show focuses primarily on ‘power’ rather than the transfer of it. Rachel (Jaeden Riley Juarez, CC ’25) is a senior who is utterly obsessed with math professor and college ranking whistleblower Michael Thaddeus (Tyler Zwick, CC ’26). Wanting to make her idol proud by following in his footsteps of using “math for activism,” she exposes wide-spread academic cheating at Columbia, chronicling black market deals of test answers and essay drafts. As a consequence, an evil coterie of University administrators, trustees, and donors—including standout registrar Barry Kane, played by Kieran Lomboy, CC ’26—cuts electricity to the entire University. The students are plunged into a dark age, forced to wash their clothes by hand in the fountains and navigate the housing lottery via bingo cage.

In addition to this core premise, the show features a stunning number of plots circulating at any one time, and the joy of the show is more in its journey than its destination. The power going out only happens at the close of Act 1 in the catchy song that left the “lights out on those entitled bitches” stuck in our heads during intermission. Even with an unusually large cast this year—18 people, compared to last year’s 13—no one’s story goes ignored. From the School of General Studies ballet dancer reeling from a sprained pinky toe, played by Nicholas Meyers, CC ’24, to Sweetgreen-obsessed junior administrator Edie, played by Nina Dia, CC ’25, each character is given a development so full that we feel they could be walking across Low Steps right alongside us.

The show’s emotional heart, however, lies in the Midwestern drawling, overall-wearing Wilder, played by Casey Rogerson, CC ’24, who was a sensational PrezBo in last year’s show. Wilder, a confused first-year who meant to apply to Columbia College, Missouri, falls at first sight for resident advisor Nola (short for Granola, played by Anja Vasa, BC ’25). With the help of his roommate Damien Dartmouth—yes, named after that Dartmouth—played by Vincent Snyder, CC ’24, Wilder gets “Columbia-fied” in a makeover sequence that seems to culminate only in exchanging his overalls for a blazer and button up. Although Nola originally rejects his advances, the two bond in Act 2 by planting soybeans on Law Bridge. The choreography here, done by Meyers, also the Dance Captain, supports both the humor and awkwardness of the scene—just when the two make a move to slow dance, they switch directions at the last minute and start swinging exaggeratedly arm and arm instead. Finally confessing their feelings and agreeing to date—after Nola quits her RA job—the audience was flooded with a wave of cooing “aww”s.

Although some delightful plot threads seem to get lost—whatever happened to Damien’s overbearing mom, the Dartmother? Why do we never hear about Nola’s dad, the president of Exxon, after career day?—they are at the expense of the incredible number of references, bits, and wise-cracks the creative team has managed to slide in. The show covers an impressive amount of material—Chef Don, the RA union, Lerner ramps, the SOKA test, Dean Grinage’s scarfs, to name just a few. Some of these observations are witty and insightful, like when we find out the elderly donor Mr. NoCo (Filip Przybycien, CC ’24) doesn’t know anything about engineering, and so the NoCo power outlets don’t fit Mac chargers. The student in front of me whispered “that’s so true” under her breath.

The strength of The Varsity Show comes with these fleeting humorous moments, whether they further the plot or not. For a split second, for example, a woman representing the Columbia Confessions Facebook page comes onstage. It is funny just to hear the reference, even if she is gone again within a minute. An absurd fragment of a scene featuring Ariana Grande in Chef Don’s, with her distinctive “yuhs,” absolutely brought the house down, even if there was no logic behind it. This is what The Varsity Show does the best, and what keeps Columbia students returning year after year.

Another factor, of course, in making The Varsity Show so integral to campus life is the stunning performances delivered by many of the lead actors. Pulling the best of all Columbia’s theater students, it was a pleasure to listen to the clear and strong voices of Ariana Neal, CC ’26, as Rachel’s girlfriend Joan, Hannah Carter, CC ’26, as Barnard Dean Leslie Grinage, and town crier Eleanor Babwin, BC ’24. When the cast came together to sing in harmony, with all their voices ringing out as one in Toleno’s music, the outcome was simply euphoric—singing the opening number or their rendition of “Roar, Lion, Roar” in the final show’s final moments, you almost wished the whole show was done in 18 parts.

Toleno’s music itself had a cohesive theme to it, upbeat and bouncy even in its moments of more sinister undertones. The composition is witty—in a song in the second act where they’re worried about running out of time for the SWIM—students without internet mechanisms—test, a metronome plays ominously in the background that gives audiences a sense of the pressures that they’re up against. Performed by an impressive 13-piece pit orchestra, the student musicians were a highlight of this show, on par with professional Broadway productions and even getting a fun fourth-wall break when the characters want there to be music. For the music and lyrics themselves, the interplay between Toleno and Roberts’ styles were at their height during “Join Us,” a song that took place at a career fair and featured the Columbia commentary line, “You don’t come here to follow your dreams, being a sellout is all acceptance means.” The number manages to be infinitely entertaining while also casting a critical eye onto the type of students that Columbia produces.

As the days before graduation draw nearer and nearer to a close, perhaps our seniors can take their Varsity Show lessons to heart—regardless of what’s next, the things we’ll remember most are the bits of Columbia that we take for granted along the way. Other than these precious few years we spend here, we will never again get the opportunity to revel in casual references to Bacchanal and Chef Don, and oh how we will miss it.