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Alison Li / Staff Illustrator and @3abbas / via Instagram

The fact that your take-home test makes no sense isn’t the only source of frustration this week. As campus tensions rise during finals season, so does the tension between you and that cutie sitting across the table from you in Avery.

You know what? You deserve to have some fun in the midst of this week’s hell. It’s time to take a deep breath and make a (respectful and consensual) move. Once your potential partner has expressed interest, hit ’em up with one of these saucy, situational lines. You can even say that you thought of it yourself, I don’t mind.

If you’re taking part in a campus tradition such as Primal Scream or shamelessly hitting on your TA in hopes of a better grade, we have you covered with a line for every situation.

At Primal Scream

At Midnight Breakfast

At Orgo Night

Walking out of a final you bombed

If you’re hitting on your TA

Remember to take a break from studying to test out your lines at these events. Because, hey, if your grade is going down after this exam, you might as well, too.

Do you have a go-to finals pickup line? Has anyone used a line on you? Comment down below, Tweet or Snapchat us @CUSpectrum to share your thoughts.

Miles Greenspoon is a Spectrum staff writer and a GS/JTS junior. Though he came up with these lines himself, he is too afraid to use anything even remotely raunchy, ever. Reach him at miles.greenspoon@columbiaspectator.com or @mileshasjokes.

All illustrators by Alison Li / Staff Illustrator.

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