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Sophia Hotung for Spectator

Spec virgins marvelling at free contraceptives.

Every now and then, Spec editors get sent little flyers and PR goodie packages to plug. We rarely plug them. I mean, that would mean we lacked integrity. (I mean, we’re the PrezBo-Fireside-Chat equivalent of campus publications.)

Trojan singled out Spec’s Editor-in-Chief and sent sweet EIC Caroline two huge boxes filled with prophylactics, encouraging her to “get [her] groove on.” The boxes were promptly left in the Business and Innovations office to be raided by Spec staff.

Trojan’s intentions? Idk, probably for us to tell everyone that when we weren’t writing articles, we were safely getting it on (sans STIs and zygotes). Unfortunately, no one gave Trojan the memo that we are all sexually inactive nerds who spend late night in the office, not in the boudoir. They should have sent the boxes to Beta.

Then again, Trojan must have guessed we were nerds to some extent. Inside one encasement of lubey latex was a highly informative “Sexual Health Report Card.” According to the highly detailed doc, last year Columbia went down (lol) as the university with the eighth best sexual health record. Unfortunately, we have gone further down (lolol) this year to 11th place. (We’re not bitter losers though.) No wonder they sent us condoms. They were probably worried.

Need a condom? Comment down below, Tweet us, or Snapchat us @CUspectrum. We have way too many.

Sophia Hotung is Spectrum’s editor and a Barnard junior. She is proud that she is using her journalism skills to advocate safe sex. Reach her at sophia.hotung@columbiaspectator.com if you need contraception.

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