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Graphic by Tanya Lalwani

If you’re a control freak like me, then you have your entire day planned out on your Google calendar. If you’re even more like me, then your typical Tuesday consists of a 10:00a.m. Ferris breakfast, a 2:00p.m. calc class, and a 4:00p.m. cathartic pedicure.

However this hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute, second-by-second structuring of one’s day isn’t always the easiest to manage. Some things are simply out of our control.

Like the sometimes-ridiculous waiting lines at the package center.

Or that 20 minute video of cute cats you had to watch.

We can control one thing however: the time it takes to walk from one campus building to another.

Being Spectrum’s control-freak-in-residence, I’ve taken time out of my busy schedule in order to save time in yours. Fellow peer, for the sake of your productivity, I have timed and recorded my walks along popular college routes.

DISCLAIMER: Note that these times are for a typical 5’ 7” non-athlete (yet devilishly good-looking) male, walking alone. Your times may vary depending on your cardiovascular capabilities, sociability, and shin length.

Butler to Ferris

After a long day of studying, one works up an appetite. The Butler-Ferris route is particularly busy around 6-8pm on weekdays and is filled with first-years and upper-classmen alike. We’ve taken into consideration that walkers of this route are likely to be carrying heavy book-laden bags. Therefore...

Walking time (without books): 1:45

Walking time (with books):5:13

Carman to Math

From my doe-eyed first-year days I fondly recall the hordes of my too-eager friends hell-bent on majoring in econ. Of course things change and many have redirected their paths, but this route goes out to anyone going through their pre-req calc phase.

Walking time (non-econ major): 3:21

Walking time (econ major): 0:48

Barnard to Milstein

You keep forgetting that most of Barnard’s library collection has been kidnapped and relocated to the haunting depths of Milstein. What horror. Yes you have to go to a whole other campus now to borrow books, but we promise it’s not that far.

Walking time (when rushing to get that damn, elusive book): 5:36

Walking time (when overcome with sadness at the loss of the ugliest library you’ve ever seen): 7:12

Frat Row to Halal

What better way to end a night spent intoxicatedly bumbling through every single frat on frat row than a delicious lamb over rice? The Halal cart on 115th Street makes some serious moolah on weekend nights from the Ivy inebriated. Of course I’m sure most who take this route aren’t in the best state of mind when they walk it so I factored in delays for haphazard stumbling and vomiting.

Walking time (sober): 4:16

Walking time (typical Friday night): 22:58

Hartley to Hartley Hospitality Desk

I have always admired those who have chosen to live in Hartley and I think I have figured out why they do it. If you’re someone who naturally always loses their shit, including your Columbia ID, then the Hartley Hospitality Desk takes less than a minute to reach, if you already live in the building!

Walking time: more like elevator time: 1:00

 
spec hacks walking campus
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