I think a pat on the back for all of us here at CU is in order. As you have probably learned by now, we have earned ourselves a spot on the national stage (for a grand total of two times this past month) thanks to what is apparently an excessive consumption of Nutella. The media in all its glorious forms was teeming with reports about our delinquency last week (which may or may not be a direct result of the offensive stripteases we are subjected to as students here). I say we seize this opportunity to relish in our newfound image. We are the few, the proud, the fatties of the Ivy League.
