Aries: Your ruling Mars moon is in your 5th house of romance this week. What does this mean? That you’ll probably find love during a drunken grind in the AEPi basement. A cup or two of jungle juice beforehand will, um, lubricate the situation.
Taurus: Since Saturn is in retrograde for your sign, don’t expect much from Valentine’s Day. Plus, you’re going to be sexiled. Try to find an air mattress or an alternate place to sleep before the weekend.
