Usually we just joke about light fall breezes being gale-force winds, but today the powers that be are proving us very, very wrong. News sources across the board have four advisories out for us: severe thunderstorm warning, flood advisory, wind advisory, and a special weather statement. Well, here's our special weather statement:
- STAY HOME.
- UMBRELLAS ARE FUTILE. (Yes, even the "indestructible" golf umbrellas.)
- YOU WILL BE WET. IT IS RAINING SIDEWAYS.
- WEAR BOOTS. (Sidewalk swamps are forming. Leaves are clogging up drains.)
