So 34,587 people applied to Columbia this year. That's a record. The Office of Undergraduate Admissions will boast about this figure for the next 360-some-odd-days, at which point 34,587 will be considered an embarrassingly small number of applicants.
In this competition for elite-school phallic primacy, it's not enough to be a shower. You also need to be a grower.
A lot of intelligent people have already commented on this phenomenon, but I will throw in my two cents' worth: This is stupid.
