The last three days have brought big news to the Columbia Universe. But rather than write about the criminal woes of members of the community, or about the truly surprising revelation that a large number of Columbia students get A's, I thought I'd tackle something a little more life-threatening.
Not to go all 10 o'clock News on you, Columbia, but we're all going to die. And I don't mean eventually (though, yes, that too).
Nope, we're going to die (or at the very least, break a wrist) as soon as tomorrow. We're going to die because this campus suffers from a precarious lack of baby-proofing.
