Yesterday, Spectator published this pretty brilliant column by Zach Glubiak on why Columbia should get a real, live lion to prowl the sidelines à la LSU with Mike the Tiger. So that got me thinking, if there were a fight to the death competition for all of the Ivy mascots, we'd definitely win, right? Surely, there's no animal more ferocious than a Lion. And hey, this might be the only thing we can win with little to no competition, so it has got to be worth exploring.
First off, we have an inherent advantage over three schools because we don't just have a color to represent us. I'm looking at you, Cornell, Dartmouth and Harvard—especially the first two. "Big Green" and "Big Red?" Seriously? The only "big red" thing I know is Clifford, and he is probably the wussiest animal in the world. At least crimson is a more unique color, but let's be real, what the hell can colors actually do against a Lion? Thanks for playing guys, but our Lion sees your lame colors and uses them for war paint.
