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And now—in this week's installment of Just Ask Emily, one reader has friend troubles, and one reader's boyfriend is having them for her.
Dear Emily,
I'm a freshman who's finally found a group of good friends and it's been amazing, except for one specific problem. This one girl lives with the group (I don't) and is really close with all of them, but I just can't stand her. All she talks about is how stressed out she is and, when she is in the mood to be a normal person, she pretends I don't exist (no eye contact, no direct address, no hellos or conversation when we're the only two in the room). The group does genuinely like her, though, because she's really sweet and funny when she tries, which clearly happens towards everyone but me.
I've tried connecting with her one-on-one at lunches or by pulling teeth to sustain A-B conversations, but it really seems like a lost cause. I'm sick of feeling obligated to her as "one of the group" (inviting her places, pretending I'm interested in her) with someone so juvenile. She seems like a waste of my time and energy because she's too jealous, petty, insecure, or whatever is making her act so unfriendly. I know that I don't *need* to be her friend (and vice versa) but what should I do? I don't want to grow silently resentful, put a wedge in the group's pre-existing friendship, or damage my own friendship with the group, especially since I finally feel like I found my place at CU with these people.
Sincerely,
Hopeless in Hartley
