So I'm going to break some news to all of the freshman: if you're in a relationship right now with someone from your hometown, it will be over before December.
Sure, you've had your doubts, but you're going to stick through it, you say. WRONG. Your doubts are going to be revealed to be very, very accurate. This isn't like doubting Obama's birth certificate — this is more like doubting the subprime mortgage market. It's just common sense. And it's an especially apt analogy because you won't pay the price for it. No, that will be passed on to someone else, namely your friend that everyone knows is in love with you.
For those friends who anticipate benefiting from this crisis, I have to break it to you that it's not going to happen. Sure, you'll hear their feelings, their lamentations, but you'll never have the closure/penetration that you seek.
