'I'm not sure that you're ready for primetime yet'

It's late. You're up. If you haven't already updated your iPhone to the latest software, then you're either a Google fan or a loser. Or perhaps not, as today's iOS 6 release proves Apple's steadfast commitment to underwhelming.

Actual News

I don't always endorse candidates: Some conservatives are pledging to boycott Dos Equis after the Most Interesting Man in the World  hosted a fundraiser for Barack Obama. Boycott participants are now rallying around the Budweiser Clydesdale as their beer mascot of choice, because when asked if he likes Obama, the horse always responds "Neigh!"

Let Burma be Burma: According to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Lawmakers in Burma had been preparing for democracy by watching old episodes of The West Wing. Clinton visited Burma last year, and not a moment too soon: When she found them, they'd been walking around in circles for days.

Going postal: The postal service plans on sending people more junk mail in order to increase revenue. If this doesn't work, the USPS will then break into your house and destroy all your email machines with a hammer. 

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