It's late. You're up. BREAKING NEWS: Obama made a speech five years ago! And this speech was RACIST, because he suggested that the U.S. government has occasionally mistreated black people! The nerve of this man—and after all we've done for him! At Spectrum, we have changed our minds about President Barack Hussein Obama.
Actual news
Get what you pay for: Rapper Machine Gun Kelly was invited to perform at a Microsoft Store. Upon arrival, he promptly began stomping on laptops and rapping "fuck these computers." Reached for comment about Kelly's performance, President Obama said it was "right in line" with his goal of destroying the American economy.
