There are so many great Christmas movies. It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, The Santa Clause IV: The Substitute Clause. It's an unfortunate truth, however, that there are far fewer classic movies that celebrate Thanksgiving.
Good news: That problem has been solved. ThanksKilling is available on Instant Netflix. It tells the story of a group of college students trying to get home to their families while being terrorized by a talking evil turkey. We would recommend that you take it in with your family, but sadly, Thanksgiving is over and your probably don't have time. That being the case, here's a time-stamped summary of the entire film (SPOILERS BELOW!).
0:00 --- "The year is 1621, the olden days."
The first Thanksgiving has just occurred, and the scene opens on a semi-nude pilgrim woman running through the woods. She trips over a large plastic rock and is killed by a talking turkey who wields a tomahawk.
0:03 --- According to the opening credits, the actors in this movie include Chuck "Dead Body Guy" Lamb, General Bastard, and Wanda Lust. Wasn't Wanda Lust in Lincoln?
0:04 --- We've now moved forward in time, to the modern day. The setting is a rustic college campus. Main characters seem to be: Fat Kid, Quarterback, Party Girl, Nice Girl, and Nerdy Kid. They're all traveling to their respective homes together in QB's jeep.
0:08 --- Flashback to QB's childhood. He's throwing the football with his father. More importantly, HE IS NOT A CHILD. It's the same actor in the flashback, just pretending to be a little kid. This is rapidly becoming the best movie ever.
