Humor

Finals Inspiration

Finals season is fast approaching, which means the existential angst you buried after midterms is poised to emerge once more with a vengeance. Does the spurious happiness of the jerks handing out candies and inspirational quotes in Butler make you want to hurl? Instead of attempting to mask the emptiness, why not face it—you’re not getting out of there until at least 4 a.m. Here’s some true inspiration to help you and all your friends to get with the somber mood of the season.

“Happiness is obsolete: uneconomic.”
—THEODOR ADORNO

“We laugh to keep from crying.”
—KANYE WEST

“Books are a load of crap.”
—PHILIP LARKIN

“This is the way the world ends / Not with a bang but a whimper.”
—T.S. ELIOT

“There is — an infinite amount of hope in the universe… but not for us.”
—FRANZ KAFKA

“Lord, come with fire / Everyone’s wasting their time.”
—SUFJAN STEVENS

“You’re on Earth. There’s no cure for that.”
—SAMUEL BECKETT

“All our final decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last.”
—MARCEL PROUST

“If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”
—SYLVIA PLATH

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