Quick and Dirty: First-year advice

The Quick and Dirty is an occasional series in which we ask regular Opinion contributors for their quickest (and often dirtiest) thoughts. This time we asked our bloggers: What piece of advice would you give to incoming students, but not in front of their parents? 

Karissa Austin: You will inevitably hear about easy access to the roof of Mudd (the engineering building). You will inevitably want to hook up there. You will realize the only surfaces available are basically the equivalent of sandpaper, so plan on doing the dirty while standing—unless you want to do the walk of shame through the electrical engineering department covered in scratches (and not the sexy kind either).

Kevin Vo: Take everything you hear from guidance counselors, your parents, the viewbook, and family friends with a grain of salt. You’ll find that contrary to what you’d heard, a good deal of classes are far larger and less personal than the “15-person average,” and some professors could not give two pennies about you. Columbia has a good deal of problems, but so does every other university. Some parts of being here may not live up to your expectations, but you’ll find some amazing people and experiences in the places you least expect.

Rachel Chung: You’ll need more than free condoms to have good sex. You also need quick reflexes, functioning body parts, and a variety of other things that magically disappear when you drink. Make the smart choice. Don’t drink and (sex) drive.

Evan Siegel: If what you happen to say is lacking in substance but is exceedingly polysyllabic, there is no need to fret.

Feel free to share your own “Quick and Dirty” thoughts in the comments!


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Anonymous posted on

Don't touch alcohol and keep your peckers in your pants.