Campus

Know your Nine Ways of Knowing

Barnard first-years have four years ahead of them to complete the nine Barnard requirements, the Nine Ways of Knowing. Little do people know, these Ways of Knowing can be applied to just about anything. Make sure you can check these off before you graduate NSOP!

1. Cultures in Comparison: Barnard students come from all over the world. Make sure to learn the appropriate hand gestures and facial expressions in each culture for “I’m excited but nervous and perpetually exhausted without any idea why.”

2. Foreign Language: Be sure you’re able to translate the following:

WikiCU, NSOP, BC, CC, SEAS, OL, CULPA, MyBarnard, PGP, Athena, Low, PE lottery, and social construct (or maybe just wait for your intro sociology course).

3. Historical Studies: Know that no matter what you got on your SATs or ACTs or APs or whatever, no one cares now. You got here, and what matters now is what you do with that. The type of history that does matter is who you are and what you bring to the table culturally and personality-wise. Study your own history and the history of the students around you and you’re good to go.

4. Laboratory Science: Test those waters. This is a unique time to introduce yourselves to complete strangers without looking mildly insane, unless you’re just that kind of person. Try new things in the city or even new mystery foods in the dining halls. Also, you may find it worthy to experiment with different alcoholic mixtures. Don’t drink them, y’know, just… mix.

5. Literature: Read every piece of literature they give you during NSOP, especially the entire Residence Hall Guidebook. Totally kidding. All you need to read is Spectator’s Orientation Issue.

6. Quantitative and Deductive Reasoning: Learn to watch your money dwindle the more you shop at Morton Williams.

7. Ethics and Values: Delve into an existential crisis while spacing out during one of those boring informational speeches. Learn a lot about yourself and very little about what to do if you need to miss class for a religious holiday.

8. Social Analysis: Be nice. It will go far.

9. Visual and Performing Arts: Take advantage of all the performances during NSOP, between tonight’s Class Act featuring the Varsity Show, to Sunday’s Performance Showcase, to comedy shows around the city!

(10.) Physical Education: Get out of bed. We’re proud of you!

 

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Elisheva posted on

Funny and adorable as usual, T-kams

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