A&E

Mmm, baby: The very best in food porn

Do your kinkiest dreams involve a threesome between three eggs, a whisk, and some pure cocoa?

Do you talk dirty to artisan flatbreads, hand-jarred preserves, and homemade kombucha? Do phrases like “Korean barbecue,” “bread culture,” and “cake pops” get you a little… over-excited?

Then you, like countless bored housewives and Maruchan-mad college students, have doubtless succumbed to food porn addiction. Luckily, The Eye won’t tell your parents… In fact, we’re straight up enablers.

Welcome to our list of the best food porn blogs on the Internet---lock the door, locate your lotion, and let’s get this party started.

Bakerella, founded by best-selling cookbook author Angie Dudley, has it all: in-depth recipes for the type-As among us (I see you, overeager kid who won’t even skip an 8:40 discussion session) and high-def, juicy, borderline-lewd food porn pics for the slower, salivating plebeians.

If spending valuable procrastination time poring over detailed guides to throwing a themed baby shower complete with individual banana pudding trifles and Humpty Dumpty cake pops is wrong, we’re simply incapable of being right. 

Convinced that, if you didn’t have two problem sets a week, you’d totally be whipping up blueberry mint juleps and roasted red pepper quinoa and white bean burgers? Food blogger Jessica of How Sweet Eats is here to fuel your fantasies (delusions…) with her signature brand of healthy recipes, gourmet beverages, and decadent desserts. Plus, her kicky and relatable commentary will allow you to briefly believe that you, too, can create calorie-conscious options and seasonal sangrias in your communal kitchen.

Snickers cake. Beer-battered onion rings. Banana-macadamia nut muffins.

Should I go on?

…Well, if you insist.

Six-layer chocolate cake with toasted marshmallow filling and malted chocolate frosting.

Yes, we (and by we, we mean dedicated food blogger Michelle Norris at Brown Eyed Baker) went there. 

Art Hum masters have nothing on Not Without Salt’s gorgeous photos: from lush strawberries soaring through black space to an up-close-and-personal shot of braised beef nestled in bean curd, this blog puts the taste in tasteful food porn. The paragraph-long instructions that bookend these screensaver-worthy masterpieces are thorough, personal, and adorbs---they trace author Ashley Rodriguez’s inspirations, processes, and foodie revelations. These artsy, mostly healthy foods are to food porn as sexy foreign films are to Jenna Jameson productions; so go forth, hungry horndogs, and feast your eyes unashamed.

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