We're still in disbelief about that impostor student

It's late. You're up. And once you've checked to make sure your furniture isn't actually some kid in a costume trying to get a free night at the John Jay Inn, read this!

Actual news

Less Believable Than a Marathon: A recent poll shows 15% of Ohio republicans say Mitt Romney deserves credit for killing Bin Laden, which is strange because we're pretty sure Paul Ryan already took credit for that last week.

Flip-flopper: Nicki Minaj was just kidding when she endorsed Romney for the presidency. So lazy bitches, you can stop feeling guilty about fucking up the economy.

Last Seen in Argentina: The presumptive new president of China, Xi Jinping, has not been seen in public for days, fueling intense speculation as to his whereabouts. We hear he's just hiking in the Appalachian mountains with Mark Sanford.

Technically English News: Andy Murray won the U.S. Open, his first grand slam tournament victory, defeating Novak Djokovic. Murray's big moment was somewhat diminished by his insistance that everyone stop "pulling [his] leg" and repeated demands for the tournament head to "just give me the second place trophy already, this isn't funny."

…and a funny video