Just Ask Emily: Break that ice, ice baby

As always, we begin by reminding you that you can submit your questions, comments, concerns, and queries to Emily right here. And now: in this week's installment of Just Ask Emily, a reader wants to know how to break the ice.

Dear Emily,

There's a girl in my CC class who I've hopelessly had a crush on for the past six months. However, we've only talked after class approximately once, and it's far past the point of introductions since we've been in the course since September and never really chatted. Any tips on how to break the ice?


Ice pick-less

Dear Ice pick-less,

There are, to the best of my knowledge, two types of class crushes. One involves fascination from afar without any hope or expectation of romantic entanglements of any kind (these are great, by the way—many a class has been vastly improved by that bizarre but beautiful guy/girl you have oddly intense eye contact with). The other entails actually believing that the crush might develop into—how shall I put this?—an extracurricular activity. Since this is the latter case, you cannot just continue staring at this girl from across the table.

Do not skate (get it? ice? skating?) around the issue any longer. It's been six months. If you haven't struck up a rapport organically by now, it's probably not going to happen. Just ask this girl out for coffee. Ask her under the pretense of reviewing for the midterm. Ask her on the basis of something smart she said in class. Or just ask her. It's a low-pressure offer, and one by which she very well may be flattered.

And if she says no? If she proves herself to be a bit of an ice princess, or gives you the cold shoulder? Then you move on to the next class crush. But at least you'll have found out what this could or couldn't have been, instead of remaining in this emotionally tormenting and perpetually frozen state.

Emily Tamkin is a Columbia College senior and a former Spec editorial page editor. She hopes your Valentine's Day is anywhere from tolerable to downright lovely.


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Beks posted on

Great advice as always, Em!

Anonymous posted on

Also, if she says no, mercilessly trash all of her opinions in CC. That's the classy route.